Hosting a large table without cooking for three days

The mistake is trying to cook for a large table. A board takes the food off your hands entirely and puts the effort somewhere else, which is the trade you want on the day.

Two weeks out

Order. Engraved or not, personalised orders need two weeks and that is the longest lead time you will be working to. Work backwards from the day, not the evening.

Three days out

Order plain, and get a backup idea for the bread. Not a second board. Bread is the thing people notice missing and it takes four minutes to solve in the morning.

The day before

Nothing. Do not buy the cheese, do not prep the salad dressing, do not arrange anything. This is the entire point.

The morning of

Open the board, check it is cold, put it back in the fridge. Make the salad if you are having one. Take the board out of the fridge about half an hour before people arrive rather than the minute before, so it is at room temperature when they see it rather than when they eat it.

When people arrive

Put it out and do not explain it. A board that needs introducing is doing something wrong. If someone asks what is in it, that is the conversation you planned the evening around.